What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Sure no problem officer.

When a narcissist mad at their new supply, do they take it out on the old supply?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

After a few moments he returns.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Why are right-wing commentators spreading conspiracy theories about Haitians eating local pets in Springfield, Ohio?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Is it possible for doctors to diagnose prostate cancer just by looking at a patient?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

HELLO

Who are the actual "science deniers": people who wait until vaccines are proven effective, or people who believe that there are more than two genders?

{RING} {RING}

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

When was the first time your wife had beastiality?

Yes sir it is.

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?